If I go then I will be exhausted, mentally and physically! If I don't go then I will feel sorry and guilty with her image in my head that she sat there every day, waiting for someone to visit... I call on God every morning! I call on my dad's spirit! And I pray, pray for strength, and pray for courage to do what I must do!
I can't leave her, and yet I can't be with her! She sucks the living day life out of me, and all my thoughts became bad thoughts, which stayed inside my soul for a long time and ate at the core of my being.
I can't pray enough as God is leaving it up to me to fulfill my duty, and to carry out "thou shall honor thy parents".
Every week is a week of dilemma between to do what is right and to have sanity in my mind. The evil part is always much stronger than the angel part in me. The temptation to be selfish, to not care, and to release myself of this duty is somewhat delicious.
Today, I face this same dilemma as every day. To go or not to go? Can goodness overcome evil? Can I stomach again what I knew will repeat?
Joining Things I Can't Say!
Thanks for READING!