Kneeling for me was much more difficult to accomplish due to my handicapped. I was the only one that rather received the beating than kneeling. Once the beating stopped, it was done. It was over! Kneeling, however, was a dragging process and prolonging pain, mentally and physically.
My right leg had damaging muscles, nerves and veins, so I had no control of what it wanted to do or where it might end up. I could not kneel straight as my right knee ran from side to side when I tried, and I had to resort to a slouching position. Thus, the torment, yelling, and bashing made this punishment impossible for me to comply.
I did wish so that I could kneel straight and normal as others to end my own suffering! Humiliation alone was more than enough for one soul to bear when no explanation could be understood or acknowledged the difficult situation I was in. My aunt's demand for straight up kneeling on my part was never meet to her satisfaction. Therefore, the result was after the beating, there was the kneeling, and then there was more beating.
Thinking that I was a rebel, my aunt's creative idea was to have me kneeling on the peel of jack-fruit in the middle of the afternoon sun. The pokey pointy part of the peel outside the jack-fruit cut through my skin and I bled, but I still could not kneel straight. In church, she often smacked the back of my head toward when catching me in a slouching position, and yes, I carried a big bump on my forehead every day like it was a normal part of my body, as it hit the pew.
I was not fond of kneeling in any shape or form or type. The nightmare of kneeling in my childhood scarred me to this day!
Thanks for READING!
(Listed in Mixed Memories Series)