Have you ever wished that you know your parents better, and in a deeper sense that just your parents? I do, and I've always wished that I really knew who my dad was as a man! Being sent away as soon as I could go to school, I didn't get that chance of knowing my dad.
I just knew him as a hard working man who tried the very best of his abilities to raise 11 children, and who had given us a better life than his ever was. According to bits and pieces that I have heard, my dad had a very sad, abused, and terrible childhood. His family life was also broken when he was a young child, leaving him to labor to feed his mother, and her offsprings from other relationships!
Well, you see, I had no more chance of knowing my dad, because he passed away almost 23 years ago when I was at the start of developing a bond with him. The story of his life was very intriguing to me, but I could only gather very little! My dad didn't want us to know anything about his life whatsoever, and he didn't talk much about it or allowed us to ask questions either!
My childhood memory recalled of fear whenever I had to face him, since he barely showed any loving gestures. However, I always had this vivid image of my dad kissing us on our foreheads at New Year and Christmas celebrations! That twice a year act meant so much to us, and helped us realized that he loved us.
I grew up in a culture where affectionate feelings were not to be shown, but told in actions. Kissing, hugging, and saying "I love you" were signs of weakness, spoiled, and unhealthy! You should just feel the love from the members of your family without any of these physical attachments.
My dad passed away too soon before I could get to know him as an adult! His life remained a mystery to me, but he stood tall, strong, and very manly in my heart. I did manage however, to tell him that I loved him, and hugged him a few times while we got to know each other the year before he died.
(Listed in Mish-Mash Series)